Men's 5th XI vs Braintree 2

Match Report

Saffron Walden Men’s 5s vs Braintree Men’s 2s

Result: Walden 2 – 5 Braintree

A crucial top-of-the-table clash awaited the Fives this weekend against a strong Braintree side who had already taken the spoils in the reverse fixture earlier in the season.

Despite losing Charlie Birch’s forward stylings to the Fours for his debut appearance, Walden still fielded a strong side, bolstered by the ever-reliable brilliance of George and the Preston brothers, adding steel and skill to the familiar Fives setup.

Pre-match antics, as ever, were strong. Ollie Puxley arrived approximately seven and a half hours before pushback in a determined attempt to dodge another DOTD nomination, after recently claiming he couldn’t play because he had a driving lesson… the following Sunday. The squad collectively failed to process this explanation, and thus Puxley somehow escaped punishment once again.

Max, however, was less thorough in eliminating potential DOTD nominations, choosing to warm up in what looked suspiciously like a pair of slippers. His protests of, “They’re not slippers, they’re lounge wear!” did little to stem the ridicule. He should take notes in avoiding DOTD bullets from the skipper, who managed to conceal the fact he’d forgotten his shin pads from the whole squad. *Maniacal laugh*

The game began brightly, with Walden taking an early lead through Puxley, who bundled the ball over the line from roughly two yards out with a duffed push pass. He should have got the Hollywood in before it all went sour.

Unfortunately, Walden then collectively forgot how to retain possession, conceding the ball three times in quick succession, gifting acres of space to Braintree’s forwards, who gladly accepted. Within ten chaotic minutes, Walden found themselves 3–1 down and suddenly looking rather shell-shocked.

Braintree added another before the break, prompting the captain’s rousing half-time call for four unanswered Walden goals in the second half. Regrettably, events did not follow this script. Braintree scored again shortly after the restart, and although a flowing Walden move midway through the half was neatly finished by Puxley for his second, the final whistle confirmed a 5–2 defeat.

In truth, the scoreline makes us look worse than we were. Walden enjoyed long spells of pressure, swarming forward with some slick interplay and flashes of individual brilliance throughout. Every player put in a solid shift.

The work-ons are clear: keep hold of the ball between the 23s, press with greater intensity, and improve off-the-ball movement. Fix those, and results will follow.

Next week, Mike Gaughan takes the captain’s armband while Rich B heads to Canada on a scouting mission to investigate what lessons ice hockey cousins might offer.